The Absurdity of Modern Gender Claims
Left-Handed, Left-Winged, Trans? Basically the Same.
Gather ’round, flock. We’re told that transgender identity is just a natural variation like being left-handed or having blue eyes. Which sounds clever, until you notice left-handed kids don’t need hormone shots to hold a pencil, and blue-eyed girls don’t need surgeries to keep their eye color. When the analogy collapses, out comes Mickey Mouse in a lab coat, “The Science™ is settled!” Except its not chromosomes and DNA speaking but gender theorists shaping Play-Doh with Mr. Potato Head perched on their shoulders. In other words, it isn’t science, and the only thing that is settled here is that Disney runs the lab.
Left-handedness and eye color are observable biological traits that are fixed, morally neutral variations within God’s good creation, but the claim of transgender identity is something else entirely. It is an inward dissonance that denies the givenness of our created bodies. Ironically, by comparing gender identity to biology, the argument ends up conceding the very thing it seeks to deny, namely, that our bodies matter as it pertains to our gender identity, and to the fact that creation itself speaks to this identity with clarity (Rom 1:18-25). The fall disordered our faculties (Heidelberg Catechism Q&A 3-5), so inner conflict regarding identity is not a benign or an insignificant variation, but is evidence of brokenness.
Again, it is importantly emphasized that this analogy is, in fact, categorically in error. Left-handedness and eye color are traits which are observable, measurable biological realities. Transgender identity is an inward, psychological assertion about the self that is in conflict with the body’s given sex. When one frames transgender identity as comparable to a biological trait, the analogy accidentally proves the opposite point. If it were like left-handedness or eye color, no surgeries, hormones, or external validations would be necessary. This analogy shifts the ground of truth from what is objectively given in creation (biology) to what is subjectively asserted by the self (identity).
That move is not just a category error, it’s a redefinition of reality itself.
Play-Doh Science™
Christians confess that God’s world is intelligible and that science, when done properly, actually unveils the fingerprints of its Maker. Real science peers through the microscope and says, “Ah, so that’s how chromosomes, anatomy, and reproductive systems, and DNA fit together.” Ironically, they all hum the same chorus, namely, male and female He created them (Gen 1:27; Psa 139:13-14).
But THAT isn’t the “science” being invoked here. No, this is Play-Doh Science™. It’s squishy and shapeless, always ready to be mashed into whatever trendy shape a gender theorists dreams up. It doesn’t begin with observation, but denial…denial of biology, categories, and the accumulated wisdom of every sane society before five minutes ago. “Trans people are the gender they feel themselves to be, and Science™ proves it, because gender theorists, whom we’ve now decided to call scientists, say so.” Of course, the argument is as circular as a toddler spinning in an office chair. You see, that’s not science, rather its marketing. It trades the concrete givenness of creation for the fluid constructs of ideology and slaps a lab coat on it.
So let’s be clear: to crown gender theory as ‘science’ isn’t progress, it’s Chuck E. Cheese in a lab coat, Mr. Potato Head with a PhD.
Reality Check
Satire can peel back the absurdity, but beneath the jokes lies something weighty. Reformed theology reminds us the body is not an accident, but God’s gift. Identity is not invented, but it’s inscribed in our very flesh and confirmed in Scripture and nature. When culture trades the truth of creation for ideology, confusion follows. Our task as Christians is not just to expose error but to point to the wholeness found in Christ who is the One who holds together body and soul, with truth and grace. Identity isn’t self declared, but is divinely bestowed and to detach gender from biology is not liberation, rather, it is suppressing the truth written in creation itself (Rom. 1:20-25).
As Christians, we cannot confuse ideology with truth. We must hold fast to God’s revelation in Scripture and nature, and we must speak truth with compassion, pointing every restless identity toward Christ, the only place where wholeness is found. Next up: the louder claims, that the Bible recognizes more than two genders, that Christian truth is hate, and that every identity is righteous before God.
(To be continued…)
Shank | Secretary of Spine Distribution
